A Trip To The Seaside

What a relief when I get in the car and shut the door. The wind noise instantly falls and the constant buffering ceases. I don’t realise the muscles in my face are bunched around my eyes until I can finally relax them. The car feels very contained, almost claustrophobic. My subtler senses are turned up, retuned and sensitised as the relative silence roars in my ears instead and a quiet voice will suffice. I can work out how badly I want a sweet hot chocolate or whether flask tea will do until we get to the fish and chip shop. This is the story of many a trip to the British seaside when the sun is out but the chilly wind steals any warmth as it whips around me and gives me goosebumps. When the kids were small they seemed to be immune to it, with their sense of fun and excitement eclipsing the effects of the chill. Impending adulthood is now tipping the balance the other way with judgements of too hot or too cold. Their exploration of self-discovery seems to make them hyper-aware of the physicality of their environment. And British weather gives them a wealth of variety in which to do it.

Last month I was lucky enough to spend a few sizzling days in Spain with my partner, no offspring. Wandering around beautiful Palma it was often too hot to hold hands.  The absence of this unspoken act of togetherness needed to be replaced with other indications of intimacy: a word, gesture or facial expression. A little extra effort. We were on holiday, relaxed and momentarily carefree, so it was easy.

Other occasions in life are not so straightforward. We may not even realise to what extent we are uncomfortable, or how much physical or emotional pain we are in. Some aspects of our various relationships with friends, family or partners are withdrawn in order to conserve our energy or because we cannot handle someone else’s pain too. It can be difficult enough to work out our own feelings let alone communicate these to another. Sometimes we might need to metaphorically ‘get in the car out the wind’, so you can hear yourself think and work out what you need. What to choose in how to do this is individual, but choose. It’ll be worth it.