Sitting with feelings

Sitting with the feelings we have can be really hard. Who wants to be uncomfortable by choice? We all use many deflection techniques to avoid difficult truths: Making excuses for people? – we don’t need to admit to ourselves that they hurt us. Working all hours and some? – we keep loneliness at bay. Being hyper-critical about someone? – we don’t have to face up to our own shortcomings. Moaning about everything and everyone? – we don’t have to take the scary steps to make our own changes.

Sometimes though, it is equally hard to sit with the lighter feelings: Managed to save some money this month? – cue worry that things will go wrong and it gets used up. Putting your feet up for a bit? – maybe you should be doing some of those jobs. Finally getting some help for a problem? – maybe I shouldn’t take it as there’s always someone who else needs it more. You get the picture.

Good feelings seem like they come with a price tag at times. We don’t allow ourselves the full joy of a good feeling because it’s all tied up with guilt, regret or fear.

What I invite you to do is to try taking time to sit fully with your favourite pure good feeling and know that you are allowed, that you do deserve to enjoy it. The world won’t stop turning without you for 5 minutes today, 5 minutes tomorrow and so on. If feelings of guilt or anger come up too then that’s fine, you can give them their own space another time. But this bit of time is reserved for the kinds of feelings that let your brow relax and your shoulders drop; the kinds that might be sunshine yellow or bright blue or your favourite rich green; they might feel round and soft and light, and sound like a song or a gentle hum. Do these beautiful feelings rest in your heart, or your hands or your belly?

So, sitting in a chair by the window with a nice cup of tea and no distractions, you can teach yourself to separate out your feelings 5 minutes at a time. By allowing yourself to practice the peace of a pure good feeling, you will want to return to it time and again.