Rewards

Mud, so much mud. I have been trying to walk every weekend to get some exercise in, even though the weather has been pretty grim. Walking through wet, muddy and waterlogged fields, the mud clinging to my boots but the effort rewarded with either a flask of tea or half a pint, depending on the route. The bird song has been changing with the progress of Spring, not just earlier and louder, but the variety songs. I try to keep my ear tuned in when I’m out, and when I’m unsure or clueless I use the app I have on my phone to identify it. My repertoire of birds I recognise by their songs and calls has grown over the last few years but I’m always having to clarify with my trusty app. Sometimes, at a later date,  I listen back to the recording it makes and have to chuckle as I hear myself exclaiming in excitement. I have either been rewarded by identifying a more elusive species, or I’m just so pleased that I got it right!

There are plenty of other rewards I get on my walk: good company, a quality snack, a different perspective from the familiar view from the car, the kind of tired that will give me a great not just good sleep, and even a pious kind of feeling that tells my slothful part “See, I told you it would be good to get out and now you don’t feel so naughty eating that chocolate!”.

We do all sorts of things for reward and the main drive behind it is our own self-worth: I deserve it. The more things we do that increase our own sense of personal satisfaction, the more our self-esteem will be rooted in our own set of values, not someone else’s. This way our achievements give us confidence, resilience and belief in our own abilities. We can confidently set our boundaries, speak up for ourselves and gracefully accept a compliment. We know we are worth it because we feel it. We don’t have to rely on someone else to reward us to make us feel good and we can also stop seeking it. What a relief! We more quickly can drop those bitter feelings we get when we don’t get the reward we think we deserved, because we value and appreciate ourselves anyway.