Befriending my Dark

One of the things on my wish list for over the past couple of months has been to listen to more inspirational and intelligent podcasts.  I’ve been doing this on my walks and whilst being on hand as my sons do their school work. You know how it is, a topic search will send you down a rabbit hole of other ideas and one phrase caught my eye: Befriend your own dark. I love this idea. I consider it an important aspect of living so that you can be fully present with someone else.

What is my dark? These the aspects of myself that I might call negative, that are kept hidden and secret. These don’t  make me feel good. They are parts of me that I don’t like. They cause me pain, embarrassment and they let me down.

What is a friend? The best kind of friend will love me warts and all, want good things for me, and be there through thick and thin. That friend will be honest with me, support me, remind me of my best bits. They would show me I am lovable. They would listen to me, try to understand me and offer solutions when I am stuck.

So is this how I can befriend my dark.

When I lose my temper and say mean things to someone I love, I should be the best kind of friend to myself. Rather than berate myself afterwards with that internal dialogue of blame and self-loathing (I mean, what true friend would do that?), I could just listen to my internal diaglogue and try to understand how the situation unfolded. I could show some patience,  offer solutions, remind myself of my good points. In other words, be kind. My best friend would want me to move forward away from pain and into joy. The reciprocity of friendship means that my dark will have shown me which parts of myself need healing and nurturing, (as anger comes from a  place of pain) and the light within me can show the way.

Well, there’s a start. Let’s see what this podcast has to offer…